I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
