You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
