put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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