38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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