wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
