I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
