You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
