oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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