im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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