I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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