Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
