yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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