If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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