my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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