You really coming over, don't trick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
