Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
as a side note pls kill me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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