i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just pynch a tree in the face
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
