We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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