do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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