its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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