Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
