This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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