so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
