I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sobbing to NWA
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
