why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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