I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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