i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
