She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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