ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
