"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
