I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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