Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
