she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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