i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
