so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
