just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
