You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
