So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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