I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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