i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
