ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
