Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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