I feel like abortions should bother me more
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
