you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
