I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
