remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
