i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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