She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
