Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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