All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
