hell yes lets make some ravioli
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
