Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's never too late to be topless.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
